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While reading the nightly devotional to my boys, ages 8 and 12, my youngest crawls out of bed, goes over to his closet, and I instantly snap "Spiderman, Get. Back. To. Bed. Now. I Am DONE!" Assuming, he was just being disrespectful and getting up to mess with something in his closet, in the middle of my reading, reading about how to model our behavior after Christ. I blew that lesson.
Notably, winter holidays are stressful; with all the extra running, decorating, baking, shopping, and trying to be merry - no wonder grouchiness sneaks up from time-to-time. Striving for perfection is futile. Consequently, we strive to secure our children's happiness by checking off the items on their Christmas lists. However, are the items on their lists what they genuinely desire. At the end of the day, would they rather have gifts or our time? One last question: Why and who are we trying to impress?
Let's consider the first sentence in the above paragraph. We are all involved in the chaos mentioned; all to varying extents, all with different tolerance levels. While I loathe the idea of running from place-to-place all day, or multiple days during the week, numerous people enjoy it. My idea of a perfectly relaxing, enjoyable day is: never leaving the house, vegging out on my couch with a hot cup of coffee, and binging on Netflix. For the extroverted, this may be a nightmare, a terribly unproductive day. My holiday business stress threshold is far lower than someone who loves the hustle and bustle. Hence the fact, that being extremely busy during anytime of the year is stressful. Stress leads to one cantankerous wife and mother. Cantankerousness leads to making comparisons which lead to guilt. I used to feel guilty all the time because I wasn't like the many so-and-so's I would compare myself to. We all do this, and we all need to STOP. Stop comparing yourself to the masses, there is no comparison, you are you, they are them. We can't be everyone, nor should we strive to, we need to accept who we are, we are all unique and gifted with the qualities that our children need. They don't need the mama down the street, they need you.
Notably, winter holidays are stressful; with all the extra running, decorating, baking, shopping, and trying to be merry - no wonder grouchiness sneaks up from time-to-time. Striving for perfection is futile. Consequently, we strive to secure our children's happiness by checking off the items on their Christmas lists. However, are the items on their lists what they genuinely desire. At the end of the day, would they rather have gifts or our time? One last question: Why and who are we trying to impress?
Let's consider the first sentence in the above paragraph. We are all involved in the chaos mentioned; all to varying extents, all with different tolerance levels. While I loathe the idea of running from place-to-place all day, or multiple days during the week, numerous people enjoy it. My idea of a perfectly relaxing, enjoyable day is: never leaving the house, vegging out on my couch with a hot cup of coffee, and binging on Netflix. For the extroverted, this may be a nightmare, a terribly unproductive day. My holiday business stress threshold is far lower than someone who loves the hustle and bustle. Hence the fact, that being extremely busy during anytime of the year is stressful. Stress leads to one cantankerous wife and mother. Cantankerousness leads to making comparisons which lead to guilt. I used to feel guilty all the time because I wasn't like the many so-and-so's I would compare myself to. We all do this, and we all need to STOP. Stop comparing yourself to the masses, there is no comparison, you are you, they are them. We can't be everyone, nor should we strive to, we need to accept who we are, we are all unique and gifted with the qualities that our children need. They don't need the mama down the street, they need you.
With that being said, they may beg and beseech us for gifts, create lists upon lists (leaving them all over the house), and talk incessantly about the newest trendy toy or tech coming out. Maybe, just maybe, we need to slow down and give them what they are really craving - our time. Here is a novel thought, maybe if we spent more time with them, they wouldn't need numerous things to fill theirs. Stop observing everyone else's lives on Facebook, and start participating more in your own. Facebook leads to comparing, which leads to grouchiness, which leads to unpleasantness in our families. It doesn't matter what person A, B, or C are doing with their friends and family over the holidays, they aren't you; they have different needs, resources, and personalities. Social media is just one example of unnecessary clutter in our lives, there are others: extra work, excessive cleaning, baking, television and being overly busy. As parents we need to clean out the clutter in our lives, it's not easy, but if you look at the long picture, the end result will be invaluable.
With that said, it's okay to be grouchy once-in-awhile during the holidays when we are overwhelmed, be that as it may, before taking it out on someone else, stop and reflect on why you're feeling this. Ask yourself: is there any unnecessary clutter in your life that you can clear out. Impressing our immediate family is crucial.
With that said, it's okay to be grouchy once-in-awhile during the holidays when we are overwhelmed, be that as it may, before taking it out on someone else, stop and reflect on why you're feeling this. Ask yourself: is there any unnecessary clutter in your life that you can clear out. Impressing our immediate family is crucial.
Then we have those magic, ungrouchifying moments like I had this morning. Lying in bed, reading my devotional, preparing for the day, two wonderful kiddos greeted me with breakfast and coffee in bed, and they made it themselves. Proud Mama moment right there! So if you're feeling grouchy, it's okay, breathe, fake it 'till you make it, or hide in the bathroom until you can.
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