Sitting peacefully enjoying the quiet thrum of nature, I had an epiphany. I stated in an earlier blog post, that I was going to be more real and raw. Pondering quietly, I realized I am not just afraid of failure or success. I am fearful of the unknown. Not knowing whether I will fail or succeed, and not knowing what will happen if I do. What's even worse, is not knowing what will happen if I don't attempt it at all. I am an INFP, I am always thinking about what I am thinking.
I also have a genuinely hard time opening up and actually verbally speaking about my feelings. I have a hard time being real, it is uncomfortable. I would rather be invisible, than be really real. I don't have a lot of close friends, I don't need them. I do have a few exceptional friends and I am good with that. I don't like small talk, I don't like petty drama and I definitely do not like the sugary superficialness that goes along with a lot of acquaintances. Being open and raw is a huge step for me into the unknown.
I also have a genuinely hard time opening up and actually verbally speaking about my feelings. I have a hard time being real, it is uncomfortable. I would rather be invisible, than be really real. I don't have a lot of close friends, I don't need them. I do have a few exceptional friends and I am good with that. I don't like small talk, I don't like petty drama and I definitely do not like the sugary superficialness that goes along with a lot of acquaintances. Being open and raw is a huge step for me into the unknown.
I have succeeded in a lot of areas, and failed in a lot too. Homeschooling, I have done both. In all actuality on a daily basis I succeed and fail, concerning homeschooling. A blog, however, is scary if you are going to be real. Anyone and everyone can read it. What if they don't like it? What if I manage to offend someone? Why do I care? I shouldn't care, but I do. Conflict is not my strong suit. Conflict is something I tend to avoid like the plague.
What does conflict have to do with a blog? Eventually, I am sure there is going to be something ridiculous pop up. We live in a culture of perpetually offended snowflakes. Being offended has become a lucrative career move for our culture. If you don't like something, you can yell discrimination. We have and are continuing to raise a bunch of permanent tattle tales, and almost everyone is enabling them. Why wouldn't they, they can sue or loot everytime someone hurts their feelings. It has gotten ridiculous. Young people may be smart and well educated. Emotionally, we have not gotten most of them past Kindergarten and that is being optimistic. Same goes for politicians, just look at Hillary. She is being coddled and protected from her poor decisions, because people want a female president. Shouldn't our second possible female president be held to higher moral and ethical conduct. Any candidate whether male or female should be held to extremely high moral and ethical standards. This election has turned into a trashy reality tv show. That's a topic for another post. Heck, I have probably already offended people by the use of the terms male and female. Our culture is completely out of control. Another thing I have no patience for is rubbish. Most news headlines today fall under that word.
Here is my vow:
I am going to take that step, I am going to attempt to be vulnerable. I may make a fool of myself, I may horribly stumble. At least I am taking that step. With or without support I will put one foot in front of the other, regardless the size of the step.
What does conflict have to do with a blog? Eventually, I am sure there is going to be something ridiculous pop up. We live in a culture of perpetually offended snowflakes. Being offended has become a lucrative career move for our culture. If you don't like something, you can yell discrimination. We have and are continuing to raise a bunch of permanent tattle tales, and almost everyone is enabling them. Why wouldn't they, they can sue or loot everytime someone hurts their feelings. It has gotten ridiculous. Young people may be smart and well educated. Emotionally, we have not gotten most of them past Kindergarten and that is being optimistic. Same goes for politicians, just look at Hillary. She is being coddled and protected from her poor decisions, because people want a female president. Shouldn't our second possible female president be held to higher moral and ethical conduct. Any candidate whether male or female should be held to extremely high moral and ethical standards. This election has turned into a trashy reality tv show. That's a topic for another post. Heck, I have probably already offended people by the use of the terms male and female. Our culture is completely out of control. Another thing I have no patience for is rubbish. Most news headlines today fall under that word.
Here is my vow:
- I will fail, I won't care.
- I will learn from my mistakes.
- I will succeed with grace.
- I will not worry about offending people.
- I will thank God for both my failures and successes.
- I will be persistent.
I am going to take that step, I am going to attempt to be vulnerable. I may make a fool of myself, I may horribly stumble. At least I am taking that step. With or without support I will put one foot in front of the other, regardless the size of the step.